Mirrors

We all know what a mirror is.  When you look at it, you see a reflection of yourself looking back at your physical self.  Mirrors are important.  They aid in correction and maintenance.

Just like a mirror that you may have in your home or car, we have proverbial mirrors in life.   Our life mirrors aid us in correcting things about ourselves that we don’t like and helping us maintain the things that we do like.

Unfortunately, some things we were never handed a mirror for so we don’t have an accurate reflection of the sum total of ourselves.   As a child, your parents hand you your first mirror.  They give you that mirror through instilling in you that you are smart, kind and beautiful.  As they hand you that mirror, you began to see that reflection and internalize it.   If that mirror becomes broken through outside rejection, your parents are there to mend those pieces and repair that mirror.   By the time they are adults, that mirror is so strong, it is hard to shatter it.

There are some of us that never received that as children.  Some of us tried to construct our own mirrors through affirmations, only to have them  shattered because there was no real internalization.  As a result, you go through life with a false sense of self worth and a grossly inaccurate sense of self.

I hear and read so many things about self worth and self confidence.  What people don’t tell you is that it does not fall out of the sky.  A person with true self confidence usually (not always, but usually) had someone to hand them a mirror as a child; they had someone to show them who they are and affirm it.    Bottom line,  you can try to affirm yourself all day, but until you have someone in your corner to show you a reflection, you are doing nothing but guessing.   People like to lie about it, but validation is important.  The reason why truly confident people don’t seek validation is because they received it from loved ones as a child, so they did not have to spend their adult lives as an emotional alchemist trying to create it for themselves.

Not everyone got their mirror from their parents.  It doesn’t mean that you can’t get that mirror as an adult.  I mentioned this before, but I will reiterate here:  The way I was able to get some confidence and self worth was by being honest with God.  I wanted someone to come into my life and second what I tried to feel about myself; someone who was honest and gave me a mirror of positivism so I can see my reflection in that light.   I needed someone to sew those seeds into to me to build me up.  Just trying to convince myself wasn’t working anymore.  No emotional foundation coupled with mounds of rejection broke down whatever resiliency I had tucked away in the confines of my mind and soul.  God then sent vessels to give me a mirror.  I began to internalized that reflection and  the confidence is manifesting.   As I always say, I am not 100 percent, but I am getting there.

The moral to the story is that we all need mirrors.  We all need validation.  It is nothing wrong about being honest about that.  Validation is the building blocks of confidence.   The people who say they don’t need to be validated are the people who got validation from parents and family and was emotionally fed as children.  If that is not your story, please be honest with yourself so you can get what you need.  Once you have that mirror to show you who you really are, you can then began to embrace a true reflection.

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