I woke up this morning feeling down; that feeling you get when you just let out a big sigh and shrug your shoulders.
It is Mother’s Day. I am not a fan of holidays or special days and Mother’s Day is no different. My disdain for holidays began years ago when I realized that my family was not a typical “we must stick together because family is all you have” type clan. There have been some things happen and done to family members that literally tore my family apart. We don’t get together for holidays. I go years without talking to relatives. We don’t call each other on birthdays. There are no family reunions. And quite frankly it sucks.
Mother’s Day in particular sucks for me because my mother passed away twenty years ago this past March. My grandmother passed away thirteen years ago. I was raised by my sister, and we have not always had the best relationship. On top of that, I can’t give her anything beyond a contrite phone call or text message.
With a heavy spirit, I began to talk to God about how I felt. He quickly reminded me of two important things: A.) He has bought mother figures in my life that have be key vessels in your success thus far and B.) this simply isn’t about how you feel.
Both reminders are completely true. There have been women God has bought along in my path that have paid my rent, let me stay with them when I felt like I could not go home or I need to leave my home, people who have taken me in like I was there own. Although my sister made some mistakes, she took me in full time when she was 25! When I was 25 was no way I could have done that. These vessels should be celebrated, regardless of what I feel.
After that conversation with God, I decided that I am going to make a different choice. I am going to focus on the vessel and what they gave to me and celebrate that instead of focusing on who isn’t here. I have encountered some dynamic women who have sewn into me without even caring whether they received a return on their investment. For that, I am grateful and it will be my focus on this Mother’s Day.
Happy Mother’s Day to every vessel who has sewn into my life. They know who they are.