Last week I had a conversation with a good friend of mine and she asked the question, “what is purposeful dating to you?”  I thought it was such a good conversation, I wanted to drop those thoughts here.


Purposeful dating to me is dating with a marriage mind.   You know that you want to be eventually married, so you pair up with people which exude the husband/wife qualities you desire and it is obvious that the person you are attracted to has the same mentality.    People get confused because the thought process is that every person that you date will get the marriage third degree.  That isn’t the case at all.    That is not the intent of purposeful dating.  The intent is not to waste time with person who wants to date just to date; i.e. they want to hang out but it not potentially lead to a real commitment.

If you decide that you want to be married, you don’t have time to waste on people that casually date because it is not going to go anywhere.  You can’t change a person’s mentality so why get caught up in that tornado?

Dating without purpose for someone who desires to be married is a dead end street.    You will constantly date people just to have something to do versus getting to know someone where it could actually build into something more.  If you want to be married, don’t spend time with someone who doesn’t.  It is nothing wrong with dating just to date, but if that is not what you desire don’t dip your hand into that jar.  It is not worth it.

When you date with purpose, it is not to get your feelings caught up with every man or woman because they are a potential spouse.   Dating with purpose allows you to get to know that person without the blinders on.  Purposeful dating helps you filter out.   Upon immediately meeting someone, they may have some of what you desire-that is how you chose to date them.  I call it surface qualities.   On subsequent conversations, etc.  you get to see the deeper qualities of that person.   If they don’t possess most of what you want in a spouse, they aren’t a good fit and you can go your separate ways without bitterness and anger.   You may even be friends, but you know that person is not for you.

Dating with purpose keeps your heart guarded so you can stay sucker free.  To many heart breaks may lead to irreparable damage.  Your heart is to precious for that.

Be blessed. 🙂

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