Although I love to hang out and be social, I have absolutely no desire to do so.   Why?  Because I don’t do anything that will derail my thought process while I am in certain seasons. Let me explain:  I took a job that does not pay much.  Therefore, I don’t have much money to do anything extracurricular.  I have worked hard and this quite frankly bothers me.   Being in a social setting and not having the to partake in food, etc. because I have to keep a tight reign on my money  just reminds me of my current situation. Additionally, being reminded of the situation cause me to focus on what I don’t have versus what I do have.   It is the imperative that I stay positive, and being social will derail that.  Sounds crazy, but I know me and I do what I need to do to preserve myself.

Therefore,  I opt to do a lot of things by myself, for example exercising.  That is free and enjoyable.   When I function in this manner, I don’t have to worry about being a hamper on someone or being forced to spend money I don’t have.   It is no pressure.  I will admit: it is quite selfish but at the end of the day, I am accountable for me and my well being.   I know that this is just a season and a derailment in my thinking will slow down my growth process.  I know what makes me tick and I don’t compromise me for things that I feel are minute and will  be there when I am in a better place financially.  I will pick it up full speed when I can.  As  of right now, it is just not feasible.

I am focused on the right things in this space.  When this cocoon phase is over, I will come out to play but not until it is time.  🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s