I have some beautiful qualities and some not so beautiful qualities. I am compassionate, loving and nurturing. On the other hand, I am nosy with trust issues and a side of lingering insecurity from my past. But guess what: I accept ALL of that. I don’t lie about it and I OWN IT. Yes, I own it. Ownership is necessary. When you own something, you have the permission to change it. Ownership is key to self love and acceptance. If you are a person that lives in the land of smoke screens and mirrors, before I continue with this piece I offer you the challenge as stated in the subject line: STOP LYING!!!! Yes, honey your are in all respects a LIAR if you live in this manner. Just because you may not verbalize a lie doesn’t mean that you are not telling a lie. Putting on facades and pretending is quite frankly the worst type of lie because those lies you tell not only other people, but you tell them to yourself. Even worse is that you actually BELIEVE IT AS TRUTH.
As an adult, you become more complex; living in a world that is more gray than anything. I accept me because I can’t ignore my cancerous qualities because unfortunately, they are apart of me too. I am working on going into quality remission, but old habits die hard.
You have to be willing to be honest and work on yourself. Just acknowledging your issues will not work. You have to find opportunities that will help you get better. You have to be honest with people so they can make an informed decision on whether they can deal with you or not. You have to decide if YOU can deal with YOU.
It used to really bother me to have these negative qualities because I always felt in my heart of hearts that it was the main reason why I am single and a source of just overall rejection. However, today at work I had an epiphany: even with those negative things that makes up who you are; it is not the sum total. What I realized is that my negative qualities are only a portion of what makes up ME. It is not my sum total. I am still batting a thousand because the core of my heart is good and excuse my french, I AM ONE HELL OF A WOMAN.
Regarding being single, I had a separate revelation: Even with your negative qualities and issues, the right man will help me through those negatives. He will be patient and kind; and I wont reject when he tells me the truth about myself and what core defects need correction. He also won’t do things that are counterproductive and cause a regression in my progress. I will work with him to heal and become better.
The moral to the story is that just because you posses negative qualities does not make you a bad person. They don’t define you. Acknowledge them so you can work on you and get better. Don’t worry about being rejected and dropped by someone, that can happen whether your are the spawn of Satan or Mother Teresa.
Ownership of your mess is a step towards self love and acceptance. If you don’t accept ALL of you, how an you expect anyone else? Wrap your head with that material……
Be blessed. 🙂