I have not had sex in 13 months. My last sexual encounter was September 13, 2012. Over the last year, I have technically been celibate because I have not had sex; but it was not a choice-it was celibacy by force. Yes….force. The reason why I coined my lack of sexual activity as celibacy by force is because if those moons aligned those panties would have dropped. It sounds carnal as those words hit your eyes and travels to your brain, but it s the truth and i try to live in raw honesty.
Celibacy by force is, in my opinion a facet of disobedience to God. It falls under the realm of disobedience because there was nothing in my heart that said, Lord I want to honor You with all of me. There was nothing in my heart that chose God’s commands regarding fornication. I just wanted to have me some sex without a reverence to God, and when there were no sex prospects I would just wait until one came along. I loved God but would willingly give my body to another man because I would get that “itch”.
On last Sunday, I woke up and told God that I wanted to try and choose him. I no longer wanted to look at celibacy as something imposed upon me; I wanted to embrace it. Embracing celibacy for me also includes no masturbation. Although I have not had intercourse, I would masturbate to fill in the proverbial gap. On this journey of celibacy by choice, I am trying to honor God with my body and my thoughts. I am trying to choose obedience through discipline.
Celibacy by force vs. Celibacy by choice are obviously polar opposites. Celibacy by force is a waiting game; waiting on the next sexual encounter. The thought of honor God is not attributed with celibacy by force; it is almost seen as a punishment because you can’t scratch that itch like you desire. Celibacy by choice is obedience, discipline and the hard thing to do. Celibacy places God before your desires.
Since I am not a virgin and I have had pleasurable sex outside the confines of marriage, this will be a hard walk for me. This is a new level of faith for me, and sometimes I fear that I will fail. Honestly, right now it is somewhat easy because I have not been tested. I will take this time to really build up my spiritual strength so when those tests come along I can pass them.
Pray for me when the road gets rough.
If you have been sexually inactive, join me in choosing celibacy. If you are celibate by choice, how do you maintain your celibacy? I would love any suggestions or feedback.
Until next time…be blessed. 🙂