No Residue

Y’all I have a testimony.  

In 2009, a bad breakup left me suicidal.  I thought I was going to marry this man; and when we broke up it was honestly the straw that broke the camel’s back.  I literally felt every piece of rejection that has ever happen to me crumble over my head like hot coals.  I could not cope.  

Fast forward five years later…..I found out today that he is in a serious relationship with a woman that I suspected he was with before I even moved to Austin.   I saw a picture of the two and tears welled up in my eyes.  They were not tears of sadness or jealously; they were tears of freedom.   I saw the picture and was genuinely glad to see that he was happy in a relationship.   In that instant  I was blown back because there was no residue left of what I felt for him.  I had let everything that I felt for him, including the feelings of romantic love go.  

Now I will say this:  I cannot pin point exactly when all of the residue dissolved.   I will be honest: It definitely was not in 2012 because I saw him stop at a valentines day stand and buy a Valentine’s day gift and lost it.  But what I do know is this:  somewhere and somehow I had a release.  You will never know if you are truly over someone or something unless you are able to measure your reaction once you are faced a situation where you see that person has moved on or that thing no longer exists.  That moment when I saw that picture I felt freedom.  I thought at one point I would never recover from that.  But God….

It prompted me to text him to tell him that I was glad to see him happy.   The  text led to a 30 minute phone conversation where I thanked him, told him that I forgave him.  Talking about closing chapters…..wow.   

The moral to the story is this…time does not heal all wounds…work and effort over time heals those wounds.  Some wounds take longer than others to heal, but they will heal if you put in the effort to help them heal.   Only you and God have the antidote to a broken heart.    When you do truly let go and forgive…that feeling of freedom is like no other.  

 

Be blessed.  I love you but God loves you more.  

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