I have a confession: I loathe the holidays. Every November 1, this lump forms in my throat that doesn’t go away until New Year’s Eve. Thanksgiving is more tolerable than Christmas. Actually,Thanksgiving last year was probably one of the best since I was blessed with trip to D.C. However, when it comes to Christmas……. Christmas is by far THE WORST for me. Here’s why:
My family unit is very disjointed and the holidays remind me of just how disjointed we are. Although I have a ton of adopted family members that take me in during that time, it is never the same. It is nothing like being with your own blood line during the holidays. I just feel like an extra wheel. All of the things that most families experience my family just doesn’t do. Every year it is so heartbreaking, and Christmas usually ends with me either in tears, or somewhere trying to conceal my tears. It is just really, really rough.
I know there are some fellow believers that don’t understand why I don’t celebrate Christmas since it symbolizes Jesus’s birth. Christmas really doesn’t symbolize that at all for me. It is a pagan holiday that has been adopted and popularized by western culture (if you are wondering what I am referring to, do some research on the origins of Christmas). So it really just boils down to a holiday to celebrate family. Since Christmas represents the celebration of the family unit and my family is essentially shredded, Christmas isn’t full of cheer; it is painful.
Although Christmas is historically a pagan holiday with Jesus as an afterthought, I am of the opinion that people can celebrate what they want since God looks at your heart, i.e. your truest intentions. So if your intentions are good and the individual really commemorates Jesus’s birth, go for it.
I usually try to make some type of pact with myself that my attitude in the holiday season will be better than last season. This year I am not going to do that, but I will make an effort not to rain on people’s parade that love the holiday season. People have the right to be happy without others throwing or spitting sour grapes.
As of now, I prefer Christmas in my bed with wine or at the movies. That works for well for me.
The best thing about life is that things change. Who knows….my disdain may one day turn the tide.