I like how God uses current situations to show you who you are. Here is some background: I am currently working in Dallas and I am staying with a friend. Long story short while being in a different city on for work, I fell off my celibacy journey….hard. I have only had sex once, but that is because the person I fell of the wagon with put a halt to the sex. So it isnt that I jumped right back on the celibacy pony. I will be honest, I don’t like his resolve, but respect it. I know my limits when it comes to sex but I will throw caution to the wind for immediate gratification….which leads me to the meat of this blog….
When the person put me in a no sex zone my ego was crushed. I could not understand for the life of me how he could say he enjoyed himself but is exercising self control…..with me!!! All types of crazy went through my frontal lobe–he is seeing someone, etc. etc.
Shortly thereafter I was deep in thought and God revealed to me that my self value is tied to how well I perform in bed and that is why your ego is crushed. Talking about being wrecked!!!! Although it is hurtful to hear that in the spirit, it is quite true. God is actually using that same person to break me of that bondage. I never realized how much I had wrapped myself worth in my sexual prowess. Since sex is off the table, God has me focusing of my other and quite frankly more important qualities.
Stay tuned for this journey because it is layers to all of this—I just have not been released to reveal it all.
I will keep you posted. In the meantime, be blessed.