It has been awhile!!!! I hope you are healthy and happy with who you are and where you are.
It is February! So you know what is coming up….Valentines Day!!! Since Valentine’s Day is approaching, I think the subject of the Consolation Prize is appropriate.
So…I’ve been doing vision boards for the past four years. All four years have a love theme. The first three years have a focus on loving someone else. In 2019 the love is focused on oneself.
Often times, love is presented to us from a unit perspective. Specifically, romantic love with a partner. When we are presented with self love, it is exhibited as almost a consolation prize. We have to love ourselves as a default as either A. prerequisite to love someone else, or B. As a result that there is no one available to love, so we are forced to focus on self love.
Society places a hierarchy on love. Loving someone else is the ultimate. Loving yourself is a requirement to get what is perceived as the ultimate love. Hence, self love is often cloaked as only important as the person your self love attracts to you.
Back to my vision board: in 2019, I am totally focused on self love. However, my love of self is not second to someone else loving me, nor is it a default because I am single so I am forced to love myself. My self love has nothing to do with another person. I am enjoying who I am and where I am for the first time in my adulthood. I am enjoying the freedom of singleness. I am enjoying the victory I am experiencing getting free from shackles that society has placed upon single women. I am enjoying these experiences so I can share them with other women who may suffer in silence from the prison of societal norms.
I am especially enjoying loving myself while being to acknowledge the beauty of love as a unit. I don’t have to overcompensate and pontificate on my self love in order to try and compete against romantic love. Neither outweighs the other. They are both beautiful and both deserve celebration.
This Valentines Day, I challenge you to examine your journey of self love. Are you loving yourself as a means to an end? Do you want to achieve self love just to say you “conquered” it for romantic love? Are you treating yourself as a consolation prize or is your self love enough on its own?
DEATH TO SELF LOVE AS A CONSOLATION PRIZE. Loving yourself should never be second to romantic love or treated as a stepping stone.
SELF LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE. It is the reflection of the love of God in you. It stands on its own.
Happy Valentines Day!!