Happy Sunday Everyone!
As promised, I am being vulnerable regarding all aspects of this journey. I have great days. Sometimes I have not so great days.
Today is one of those days where it is not so great.
I am not sitting here licking wounds. I am showing you what paving toward victory really looks like. When you sign an agreement to being happy regardless of your relationship status, they contract definitely comes with fine print.
My fine print includes battle days in which I fight for my happiness harder than other days. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I loose. But the fine print calls for me ALWAYS making a concerted effort. I am human, but it does not mean that I have to get tangled in the human experience of feeling “down”.
Life it too short to allow my fleeting feelings keep me trapped. One of the ways I fight for myself is writing in my newly minted gratitude journal. No matter what, I push myself to write down what I am grateful for. I also talk to God about how I REALLY feel. Although prayers are intimate conversations, I want to share the contents of my current prayer:
I am praying for a friend that is on the same path as me. Single, late 30s, but they aren’t in a place to where they are NOT unhappy because they are single. I desire a friend in a similar or even identical head space. A friend that loves God, believes in Jesus but doesn’t have a traditional form of practice. Someone that is socially and politically aware; someone who can have a good conversations on all of the -isms in life: racism, classism, patriarchy, etc. A person who is open minded. A person loves music so we can talk about music: Rap, R and B, Blues,etc. Most of all, a friend in which we can encourage each other without coddling each other and accepting anything less than happiness where we are. We will hold each other accountable and not let us be content with being unhappy. We must pursue happiness, even if we loose a battle with it for a day or so. We will encourage each other to get back up and get on the saddle. If one or both of us move from singleness to a relationship, we will respect the new path and accept that our time and reasoning for the connection may be done.
I have friends I appreciate. I really do. However, I don’t have anyone in my life that I am in sync with like I desire at this stage. People come into your life for a reason, season and lifetime. Right now, I desire balanced connections to people with life pathways and mindsets. That person may one come in my life for a reason or season.
Happiness is a choice. I choose to fight for my happiness and pray for people to enter in my life that we can aid each other on a similar life path.