Being happy as a single woman in your late thirties is effort. It takes strength to be honest about your desires and the negative feelings about being single but not let those negative feelings erode your positivity about life in general.

It also takes strength to stand up and be confident in a society where your worth as a woman is measured by your relationship status and your breeding capability.

It takes courage to stand alone and acknowledge feelings of loneliness. Sometimes as a single woman, you feel like You are all by myself. My married/relationship friends can not relate to my life space. Many single women spend their time licking their wounds about being single. When they are not licking their wounds, they are expending all of their time and energy in finding a mate. It is lonely at times.

Single women are seen as blank canvases that have the bandwidth to support and cheer on everyone because as a single, we are seen not to have real responsibilities. She is expected to support everyone’s life moments although they may not want to at the time; a single woman may want to focus on herself and what is relevant in her life. It is a fear of being perceived as a bitter, lonely and jealous hater if single women aren’t their first ones in line to celebrate every marriage, engagement and new baby. Consequently, single women push aside their feelings in fear of the “hater” label. Single women are the ultimate team player.

It takes fortitude to not internalize societal standards, grief of not having a desire fulfilled as well as being in a place where you feel like you don’t have a true safe space that fosters happiness as a single woman. It also takes fortitude to remain centered when people want to psycho analyze you and deliver you a list of life corrections although such services were not requested.

There are so many moving parts in navigating singleness and happiness that no one realizes. It is easy to be single and miserable. That is what society expects. But to be single and truly happy means to be vigilant, self honest, balanced and protective over what she allows in her spirit.

A truly happy single woman is a rebel. Rebellious is what I will continue to be.

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