If you are a Christian millennial, more than likely you are familiar with Heather Lindsey and her ministry that attracts young, single women. You are probably aware all of the mess she is attached to as well.

This post isn’t about Heather Lindsey’s mess. There is a plethora of information about that. I want to further expand on my first blog, “The Financial Exploitation of Miserable Singles”. If you haven’t read it, check it out. I want to talk about how someone like a Heather Lindsey can make a comfortable living off of single people, specifically single women.

Whether it is a Christian or secular perspective; whether they call themselves ministers, relationship coaches/gurus, dating coaches or matchmakers, there is an entire relationship/love industry that is based on one premise: SINGLENESS IS A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS A SOLUTION.

I’ve said before: society sees no value in singleness. Singleness and what is accomplished in the single season of your life is often second rate to what is achieved in a partnership. Singleness is treated like a proverbial waiting room for marriage instead of a season that has its own specific purpose. Single people, especially single women view their lives as less meaningful and see their single existence as problematic. This problematic viewpoint stems from singles viewing singlehood from the partnership lens. The partnership lens is built through social conditioning that is reinforced by friends and family.

Every successful business thrives when the business presents an apparent solution to a problem. Heather Lindsey, Derrick Jaxn, Ashley Empowers and countless others give advice and formulas to solve your singleness problem. Miserable singles with the “problematic life” mindset will pay top dollar to attend someone’s dating or love school because they feel they are missing something and if they complete the course they will be equipped to solve their problem.

Miserable singles who have the “problematic life” mindset are the backbone of the relationship industry. Because this mindset is so rampant, these relationship coaches/gurus can sell you snake oil in form of a book or class and make millions off of the insecurities that are attached with thinking that there is a problem. While the relationship guru makes their money, you are still single and possibly broke because you sowed seed on infertile ground.

If singles dismantle viewing singleness as a problem, singles wouldn’t be so vulnerable and as a result open to financial exploitation. Dismantling that mindset will lead to clarity because that single sister or brother will realize that there is NO FORMULA to finding partnership. That clarity will allow single people to keep their damn money and focus on presenting their authentic selves to the world. Who you are is what will attract that partner, not who you have been taught to be through a dating course.

Being single is NOT A PROBLEM. It is beautiful if you let it be.

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