This won’t be long. I just wanted to share something that has been on my mind and heart. As a single woman I have the gift to make myself my number one priority and I do it well. In making myself my priority, I work diligently through my trauma and associated triggers. With doing that work, I was given a revelation that literally carries me though triggering moments: I have the right to feel how I feel, but does exercising that right to engage in those feelings edify me?
I know people who have experienced terrible things at the hands of others. When a person has been abused, used, abandoned and misunderstood it will leave you feeling angry, bitter and insecure. And guess what? If you have endured pain at the hands of others, YOUR FEELINGS ARE JUSTIFIED!!!!!! You have EVERY RIGHT to feel how you feel about your life experience.
How does exercising your right to be angry, sad and even depressed make your life better???? Here’s the deal: 100% of the time, consistently allowing yourself to feel negative feelings adversely affect your mind, body and soul. Feeling and expressing anger and sadness can literally lead to physical illness. There are links between anger and cancer (don’t take my word for it—do your own research). Actively engaging in negative feelings blocks your ability to experience the sweetness of life. I can tell you from personal experience that exercising my right to be angry and bitter did NOTHING for my quality of life other than lower it.
People: I want you to love yourself enough in order to want to experience the best life has to offer. Exercising your right to engage in negative feelings associated from trauma blocks you from that. Life is going to be what it is. Sometimes life is strawberries and sometimes it is vinegar. Choosing to acknowledge your feelings but actively working to permanently pivot how you feel is the difference between holding on to something versus surrendering. Your mind nor your body can take the bricks of trauma piling up on your back. In order to move though life you have to unload. The first step to unloading is making a choice that you shall be happy NO MATTER WHAT and then work towards that goal in the way you see fit.
You cannot stop bad things from happening. You will still feel negative feelings. The key to it is working on not to get stuck in those feelings.
I hope this blessed you. I am not talking about anything I have not experienced. Happiness is a choice and when you have had a hard life, it is work to stay there. I can also tell you this: working on happiness is a labor of love and it is so worth it.
I love you! Now go work on living yourself. 😘.