Single women’s lives are often draped in fear. Fear of never getting married and as a result “being and dying alone”. Fear of your eggs drying up and not having children. Fear of being “left behind” due to a different life journey from your peers. The fear is exhausting.
Encapsulated fears connected to singleness robs us of living our best life NOW. Instead of focusing on all of the great things in our lives, we focus on what we “don’t have”. We go into a tailspin trying to reach a social pinnacle without knowing whether it really serves us and our purpose-all because we are conditioned to seek and prioritize partnership. Instead of focusing on our freedom we loathe, lament and waste time consistently wasting time and money on singles conferences, listening and internalizing all these “how to get a married” spaces with no return on the investment (I wrote about this in detail in my Financial Exploitation of Miserable Singles Parts and II piece). We could be feeding and fulfilling who we are but instead we choose to chase who we are told we are supposed to be with no result, thus throwing more oxygen on the fear fire. We rather get ate up by the anxiety of not meeting some social conquest than explore our own depth. The older we get and the longer we are single, the more anxious and fearful we become. The more fearful we become, the more we are trapped in a negative emotional prison. As single women, we have to ask what is more important to us–deconstructing how we see ourselves in the world and gaining happiness and peace or choosing to chase a social construct and risk compunding fear, anxiety, unhappiness? The choice is yours.
To each is own but life it too short to live in fear. Its time to live.