I have John Coltrane and Duke Ellington’s In a Sentimental Mood playing in the background with fragrant candles burning. The atmosphere sparked a thought in which I want to transform into written prose.

I believe in balance. I think it is dangerous to have so much faith that you are delusional to and about reality and conversely be such a realist that you have no faith. Multiple truths can coexist. As single women, we often have all of the faith that there is a partner for us while burying our heads in the sand when it comes to the reality of dating and marriage. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: marriage is a market and market conditions are bad. The older a woman gets, the worse the market conditions. Many single women refuse to acknowledge reality because acknowledging said reality is “speaking negativity into existence” and “giving the devil glory”.

One of my favorite YouTube personalities, Craig Stewart states that “things happen when and how they should”. Although I acknowledge the physical reality regarding dating/marriage, I no longer dwell on it because I have faith that if marriage is for me, it will happen. The who, what, where when or why is really none of my business. I don’t worry about the reality, because I know that God can transcend any physical reality. So I can acknowledge the marriage market conditions but I get the privilege of resting in my faith.

Not only do I rest in my faith, I recently began to allow myself to explore what it would feel like to be married. I allow myself imagine being married and what feelings I associate with a good partnership: love, safety and freedom. I listen to my favorite love songs and flow with the emotion of the song. You don’t have to be in love to feel love. Instead of dwelling on the disappointment of what of what I didn’t have, I dwell in the good feelings pertaining what could be. If we can imagine the worst, why not imagine the best and let those good emotions come to the surface?

Improbability isn’t impossibility. Nothing is impossible with faith. But with the market conditions regarding marriage, it is improbable. Let your faith do the heavy lifting when it comes to your desire for marriage and you worry about living and being happy in the now. Focus on being happy regardless the prospect of marriage.

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